You can pretty much sum up the evolution of food in the following order: human finds wild game and vegetation, human starts cultivating and farming them, human starts experimenting with flavors and substances to find new foods, human exhausts all possible options and starts doing whatever Disney amusement venues did… here…
Yep, Disney has some interesting bits of food to showcase and this TikToker elaborates quite cheekily on why Disney amusement park food should probably be avoided at all costs (mostly because sometimes the cost is through the roof, but I digress).
More Info: TikTok Pt. 1 | TikTok Pt. 2 | TikTok Pt. 3
#1 Glow Dog. H2O Glow Nights
A blue hot dog with a blue cheese sauce. She's getting cancer right there. We were watching it live.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#2 Daisy's Dressed Up Dog. Café Daisy $14.49
So first we start off with this f*****g hot dog that got hammered and then covered in chips. Charged her 15 bucks for it.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#3 All Of Glow Nights. Typhoon Lagoon
And then this thing looks like a snake. It just looks poisonous. Those colors in nature say “No, please stay away.”
Image credits: @herrerashow
The Herrera Show (@herrerashow) is a variety TikTok channel that mostly revolves around comedic reviews of a lot of things. The highlight of this channel is the flamboyantly cheeky reviews of various foods that folks can get in Disney amusement parks.
Now, to be fair, if you want proper food, going to anything other than a restaurant is already flawed decision-making. IKEA was once criticized for the whole horse meat scandal. But they are a furniture store—they do furniture, not food, mind the difference.
But, in the case of Disney, it seems to knock it up a notch and delivers food that raises so many questions and provides very little answers. Some of it is extremely overpriced, some of it is very disappointing to look at and then there’s the very, very plain ol’ ugly kind. This is where @herrerashow jumps in with their commentary.
#4 Carne Asada $54
This carne asada is $54. It better come with citizenship.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#5 Chocolate Cake Doughnut Holes. Energy Bytes $5.79
Oh, those donuts. They look like dog poop. I'm sorry. I know that's a cheap shot, but they look like dog poop at the park.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#6 Spicy Chile-Cheese Churro. Wille's Churros $6.49
Oh God. A spicy chili cheese churro for $7. What could possibly go wrong? This thing looks radioactive. *Cackles in gay* They're distraught.
Image credits: @herrerashow
“Don’t ask me why, but I love watching Disney adults get disappointed by the food at the theme parks. Maybe it feels like it’s a proper punishment for being a Disney adult,” the TikToker kicks off their now-most-successful Disney food fails video.
The video features everything from weirdly colored snacks to overpriced (significantly) dishes to meals whose presentation seems like it was never really discussed in any part of the theme park idea… chain… process… thing.
The hot-dog bun is reminiscent of a gas puddle reflecting the sun, the chocolate cake doughnut holes look more like meat (or meat-based life form byproducts), and then there’s the scoop of guacamole with a single chip in it for $14, which some are skeptical about, but it’s $14 dollars.
#7 Chips And Guac
That guacamole is $14. And it's this size. And you know what the sad part is, I don't know if that chip came as a garnish. Or if somebody just broke a chip and stuck it in there.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#8 Truffle Mac+cheese. Citricos
Image credits: @herrerashow
#9 Tacos
Actually all the Disney tacos I've seen look pretty f*****g terrible. And either the tortillas have not been warmed up. Or they've been left out in the car windshield for a couple of days and they're charging you $30 for these.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#10 Cuban Hot Dog. The Lunching Pad $12.29
$12 Cuban dog? Ew, look at the colors on that. Oh, the sadness in there. *Uncontrollabble homo giggles*
Image credits: @herrerashow
Google search will tell you that much of it is very nice, so staying skeptical with this content is the sensible thing to do. Remember, this is comedy, and should be treated as such.
So, disclaimers aside, there is something to be said about the pricing and weird aesthetics. First off, the tl;dr explanation to pricing is simple: it’s business. Lance Cothern of Money Manifesto explains that, ultimately, if you pay for it, then it works and they can get away with it. And why you pay that much is up to circumstance: you’re likely going to be unprepared with your own food, if it’s allowed in the first place, so the only option you’re left with is the food the theme park offers. And you will succumb to that price—you gotta eat, right?
Besides that, keep in mind that Walt Disney World Resort is the largest theme park brand in the world. The brand itself carries weight when it comes to finances, allowing them to put whatever price tag for the unique experience they provide.
But where is the line drawn?
#11 Signature Gumbo $7
Some of the food here–unseasoned. The f*****g gray gumbo. LOL at the lack of spices or hot sauce. It looks like clam chowder, and everybody gets excited about it?
Image credits: @herrerashow
#12 Pickle Corn Dog
Image credits: @herrerashow
#13 Hades Hot Dog. The Friar's Nook $9.99
This wouldn't [end] me because it had purple mustard, but apparently the problem was that it was too spicy.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#14 Man & Cheese In A Bread Bowl. Refreshment Corner $11.99
This $12 bread bowl with mac and cheese. Look at the cheese pull on that.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#15 Chocolate Fiesta Pyramid $34
This thing is $34 and it looks like it's basically pudding. My abuelita’s Jello pudding. And then you kind of have to beat the s**t out of it. You can let out your anger for spending that much money at Disneyland that day.
Image credits: @herrerashow
As for the food, all the weird foods available at Disney are more or less the product of their intellectual properties and the sheer power of human imagination. The Disney Food Blog lists bizarre food options available, hinting at how it differs from franchise to franchise.
The weird food comes from its respective universes because, of course, folks in the Star Wars universe won’t have mutton readily available for consumption on, say, Tatooine. Probably. Don’t quote me on it. Hence, the themed restaurants will offer something that is more appropriate for their immediate surroundings. It’s called immersion, and the weird colors and flavors make it happen.
As for things like poop, confectionery treats that look like tiny bunny turds straight out of Wonderland. Why? Consider this: I remember, during Children’s Lit in college, we read an article about a children’s book author who visited friends for dinner. Their two kids were there to help serve the table and to make sure the guest was comfy. Seeing that the kids were borderline bored with all of this, when asked if they could get the guest some water, he instead said “Can you take this cup and spit in it all the way up to the brim?” The parents were shocked, sure, but this was an amazing way to engage with kids: make it wildly fun. Same with poop. Kids can take simplicity any day of the week for some fun. And Disney is there for the kids, first and foremost.
#16 Mac + Cheese. Quick Service Locations
Oh no, that look on her face. This very seasoned mac and cheese.
Image credits: @herrerashow
#17 Hurricane Cocktail
Everybody complains that the Hurricane cocktail is really weak. And the whole point of coming as a tourist to New Orleans is that you get s**tfaced off cheap Hurricanes.
Image credits: @herrerashow
So, what are your thoughts on all of this? Ever ate a gas hotdog at Disney World and not regretted it? Let us know in the comment section below!